Before you continue reading, I need to warn you that this post is cryptic and may not make any sense in many cases. But, I cannot answer any of your questions that may come up. I hope you understand the fact that I don’t know how to explain the perspectives behind a lot of things I did and continue to do.
What do you do when you don’t know what is right and what is not? The thing is, no matter what you do and how much you try to explain, you’re going to hurt one person or the other, including yourself and your loved ones. I guess there is no dearth of such situations in anyone’s life. Certainly not in mine!
How did I and how do I continue to deal with these most difficult choices? Like for a while now, I’ve tried to do what I think is the right thing to do given a set of situations, no matter how much I screw up other things and no matter how selfish I seem to be. I only pray to God that those who get hurt in the process would eventually understand and appreciate my decisions and deeds. I also seek forgiveness from all the affected folks. I think that’s a long shot, though.
As a fallout of one such difficult decision, me, my wife, and my son, Swaraj, have moved to a new residence in Bangalore, far away from the dust and the din of the city limits. That was last weekend and we’re still settling down. But things will never be the same again. A lot of things have changed and have gone beyond the points of no return.
Ah, just before I forget, today (7-Sep-2011) is my son Swaraj’s first birthday. Yeah, he turned one today and we hardly noticed how time flew past us. Right now, he is just about the only awesome thing going on in me and my wife’s lives. For that reason and for all the million smiles he manages to bring on our faces everyday – even in the middle of all the dilemmas, personal mishaps, and unmentionable crisis situations - we’re eternally grateful to the Almighty and to our son, of course.
Happy first birthday, son! You’ve been absolutely awesome. Please stay that way!